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Long Way For Dumb Joke.

Or maybe it was those dogs.

Many people have pointed out that Michelangelo's David is not, shall we say, entirely Jewish despite being King of the Jews. Art historians have long assumed that Michelangelo was simply ignorant of circumcision. But recent discoveries point to a shocking fact: a lack of experienced mohels in Renaissance Italy rendered circumcision particularly dangerous.

This conclusion arises from a careful examination of statues like the one above. Once believed to have been damaged, they are now seen by scholars to be faithful - if gruesome - representations of the primitive state of Florentine circumcision.

Michelangelo was not unaware that his David should have been helmeted as opposed to turtlenecked, he simply could not bring himself to reference in his art what was, in his day, an ongoing tragedy.


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