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20 or Fewer Things.

20 random thoughts as the martini and the ambien slowly take effect:

1) Tomorrow my daughter goes back to school. My son a couple days later. I didn't like teachers much when I was a kid, and I still don't. It's cats and dogs, humans and Romulans, oil and water: they are one species and I am another. Despite that there are some teachers I've met who I think should be making 150k a year.

2) Senator John Warner is now the guy Joe Lieberman wants to be when he grows up. Warner is 80 years old and he just seized control of Iraq's future. Lieberman's a clown. Warner is the man.

3) On one fan fiction site there are 3,900 contributions spinning off our A*imorphs series. More than Lemony Snicket. More than Warriors. More than Stephen King. Some are 50,000 words long. Some writers hate this. I love it. Greater love hath no fan than he would type 50k words. Right on. Rachel lives!

4) I like the shaved head thing. But the clippers you use? They're designed for flat surfaces, it seems, not for the roundness of a giant melon head. So the whole process takes a lot longer than it should.

5) Later this week I'm going to NYC to schmooze with editors. I've co-written or written 150 books and never done the NYC-with-editors thing. Naturally my main concern is: wardrobe. My natural costume is jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. I dress like a fucking 14 year-old. But I'm going with the black blazer, gray Zanella slacks, striped dress shirts and Bruno Magli loafers. Later, as an homage to Bruno Magli, I'll stab someone.

6) I think some of the difference in approach to Iraq between me and Annie and Callimachus and Dave Schuler is that I am poisonously intolerant of people who promise and fail to deliver. I am very tolerant of what we might call "little people." But don't ask for my vote, ask to be elevated to a position of authority, wrangle a lifelong pension, and then fuck up. I forgive the barrista who screws up my cappuccino. I don't forgive presidents who screw up my country. Not saying that's an attractive part of my perosnality.

7) Seriously, why in God's name is anyone still using Windows?

8) There's a term I remember from my brief time in college philosophy courses: cathexis. It means emotional and intellectual investment. Its counterpoint is de-cathexis: the shedding of emotional investment. I am de-cathecting from Chapel Hill. I never cathected much -- I never do -- but whatever interest I ever had in this place is fading fast. My head is already in Florence, Italy. Firenze, Italia. Lei vorrebe mangiare qualcosa?

9) We're going to do viral videos to support the launch of my new book series. This is cool because 1) It might sell some books, 2) I'm writing the scripts so, 3) I can write off my Final Draft software, and 4) have a good excuse to go to Chicago (where the filming will take place) and 5) get into Alinea, again, God willing, or 6) Charlie Trotter, or 7) Tru, or 8) Moto and 9) I love great restaurants.

10) This picture here? I felt oddly compelled to post it. And I felt just as compelled not to comment on it. But over at Ambivablog I was discussing things and realized that this picture comes as close as I get to the idea of the sacred. Gods and devils and their various religions are meaningless to me. They always seem tedious and badly-written. But this is sacred. A man who will go through his life like that, a woman who stands by him. Courage, sacrifice, patriotism, loyalty, love. Real people carrying terrible loads. If I was going to drop to one knee and bow my head, it would be to them, not to some absurd celestial parent surrogate in the sky.

11) My TV friends will be back soon. Scrubs. House. Galactica. The Shield. The Wire. The Simpsons. So much more fun than real friends. And so much less likely to borrow money.

12) When you go to sleep at night your shoes should always be untied, ready, poise one might even say, in case you have to leap suddenly from bed. Yes, just a little bit crazy.

13) Oh, crap, fingers moving slowly. Brain even more slowly. The gin and ambien cocktail. So . . . 20 things? I'm a hafta owe you seven.

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“20 or Fewer Things.”

  1. Blogger Dave Schuler Says:

    I think some of the difference in approach to Iraq between me and Annie and Callimachus and Dave Schuler is that I am poisonously intolerant of people who promise and fail to deliver.

    I think I may have lower expectations of performance than you do. Basically, I expect everybody to be a screw-up.

  2. Blogger Dave Schuler Says:

    I've been to Charlie Trotter's and Tru, not the others. When we went to Tru we sat in the kitchen seats. It was an experience (Tru is an experience anyway).

    Charlie Trotter's is a connoisseur's restaurant. I had to explain it to the people we went there with for them to appreciate it. I honestly suspect that many of its patrons don't understand it.

    You could always dine at one of Chicago's great eateries: our place. I'm no Charlie Trotter or Rick Tramonto but I'm up there. I could at least buy you a drink. I owe you one. Drop me a line.

  3. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:

    Charlie Trotter was, for a long time, my personal god. I moved from Minnesota to Illinois for Trotter. (Okay, plus the big drop in state income tax.) Alinea is Grant Achatz's restaurant. He briefly presided at Trio in Evanston, where I wasn't that fond of him, but now he's the American king of all molecular cuisine at Alinea. I've been twice and he will blow your mind -- as we old people trying to sound hip might say. Haven't hit Moto yet.

    We should definitely schedule an adult beverage or two when I come up there next.

    By the way, did you get that email from me re: books?

  4. Blogger Dave Schuler Says:

    Yes, I did. Sorry for not getting back to you. Go ahead and send me a picture. I've got to be cautious about books to keep peace in home. You'll understand that comment if you get to our place. ;-)

  5. Blogger Tully Says:

    14: Math is hard after gin and ambien.

    15: As compared to ambien, sonata has a more abrupt effe

  6. Anonymous Dyre42 Says:

    My answer to no. 7 is
    Because its free.

  7. Blogger amba Says:

    Lei vorrebe cathecta Firenze?

    I think that could be an exception to your rule.

    (But you'll be back; you're an American.)

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