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Electoral Q and A.

Question: If Fred Thompson had Dennis Kucinich's voice and height, would he be taken seriously?
Answer: No. Fred is all about the gravitas. Gravitas, a latin word meaning, "Bullshit."

Question: If Ron Paul had Fred Thompson's voice and height, would he still be dismissed as a crank?
Answer: He'd be polling five points higher, but he'd still be third tier. Americans are not libertarians. They think they are, but they're not.

Question: If Senator Hillary Clinton was named Senator Hillary Jones, would she still be the frontrunner?
Answer: Maybe not, but she'd still be top tier. Set aside her past, in her present she's a capable, smart, thoughtful Senator from a major state. And she runs a great campaign.

Question: If we all closed our eyes, and plugged our ears, and picked a president according to experience, thoughtfulness, intelligence and demonstrated competence in the most important issues, who would be the Democratic frontrunner?
Answer: Joe Biden.

Question: If we all closed our eyes, and plugged our ears, and picked a president according to experience, thoughtfulness, intelligence and demonstrated competence in the most important issues, who would be the Republican frontrunner?
Answer: John McCain. Giuliani second.

Question: Which first-tier candidates make creep the flesh of honest men?
Answer: Romney, Clinton, Giuliani, Edwards and Obama. But especially Mitt (shudder) Romney.

Question: Which candidates may actually be real human beings containing no more than 20% manufactured parts?
Answer: Huckabee, Richardson, Paul, Biden.

Question: Who's my candidate as of today, taking all into consideration, including a decent respect for the likelihood of victory?
Answer: Hillary.

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“Electoral Q and A.”

  1. Blogger Pastor_Jeff Says:

    "If Fred Thompson had Dennis Kucinich's voice and height, would he be taken seriously?"

    Classic!

    Let's just say being not-Dukakis doesn't hurt.

  2. Blogger miriam Says:

    I agree with you on everything, except for Biden. He can make a horse's ass of himself faster than any three of the others. There's something comic about him.

    And he's my Senator!

  3. Anonymous Shochu John Says:

    Question: If Fred Thompson legally changed his name so all those looking for "Arthur Branch" on the ballot could find him, how many votes would that be worth.
    Answer: At least 10 percentage points.

    Question: And if he convinced Sam Waterston to be his running mate as "Jack McCoy".
    Answer: Another 5 points.

  4. Blogger Dave Schuler Says:

    Agree on Romney. Totally agree. And I think he's pretty likely to be the Republican nominee because he fits the profile of a regular Republican presidential candidate so well.

    Disagree on HIllary Clinton. I she had never married Bill Clinton she wouldn't one of New York's senators. Simple as that. I'm sure there are lots of smart Wellesly-educated lawyers we've never heard of.

    If we closed our eyes and ears and judged by qualifications and intelligence alone, we'd pick Bill Richardson. Come to think of it, he's my pick in the Democratic field.

    If we closed our eyes and ears and judged by qualifications and intelligence alone, we might well pick Mike Huckabee among the Republicans. Otherwise McCain followed by Giuliani.

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