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Fucking Sprint. (Updated)

Fuck Sprint.
Fuck Sprint.
Fuck Sprint.
Sprint? Fuck 'em.
If you want a phone? Try someone else because . . . Sprint? They're cocksuckers.
Verizon? They're cool.
ATT? they suck, but I love my iPhone.
But Sprint? Morons.
Crooks.
Creeps.
Buffoons.
Assholes.
Sprint sucks.
Sprint sucks shit through a straw.
Sprint sucks shit through a straw and savors it.
Sprint gargles it.
Hey, Google? Look here: Sprint is the cellphone company beloved by Stalinists.
In fact, I think Sprint was responsible for the gulag.
Fucking Sprint.
Worthless sons of bitches.
I hate Sprint.
Sprint loves Osama and hates America.
Sprint hates our troops.
Sprint: no.
No to Sprint.

Thank you.

UPDATE: Sprint fantasizes about strangling puppies.

This entry was posted by Michael Reynolds, on Tuesday, September 04, 2007. You can leave your response.

“Fucking Sprint. (Updated)”

  1. Blogger Unknown Says:
    8:44 PM  

    I wish you wouldn't hold back like that. You'll do yourself a mischief.

  2. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:
    8:49 PM  

    I am somewhat irritated with Sprint.

  3. Blogger P_J Says:
    9:47 AM  

    I spent a minute of two trying to figure out what music this went to (William Tell Overture?) before I realized it was free verse.

    I'm guessing $10 off your next bill won't fix this one.

  4. Blogger amba Says:
    10:17 PM  

    Call it Spraint. A sprint, it ain't. A word which also means "the excrement of otters." I kid you not.

  5. Anonymous Anonymous Says:
    9:43 AM  

    Amazing, we actually agree on something. I've been with Sprint since late '98 and I'll be moving to Verizon in November (when my current contract expires).

  6. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:
    12:17 PM  

    Spraint? That Natural History gig is paying off already.

  7. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:
    12:21 PM  

    FD:
    I think all faiths, peoples, and political persuasions came come together to agree that Sprint trampled Old Glory and litters on the White House lawn.
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