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Fucking Sprint. (Updated)

Fuck Sprint.
Fuck Sprint.
Fuck Sprint.
Sprint? Fuck 'em.
If you want a phone? Try someone else because . . . Sprint? They're cocksuckers.
Verizon? They're cool.
ATT? they suck, but I love my iPhone.
But Sprint? Morons.
Crooks.
Creeps.
Buffoons.
Assholes.
Sprint sucks.
Sprint sucks shit through a straw.
Sprint sucks shit through a straw and savors it.
Sprint gargles it.
Hey, Google? Look here: Sprint is the cellphone company beloved by Stalinists.
In fact, I think Sprint was responsible for the gulag.
Fucking Sprint.
Worthless sons of bitches.
I hate Sprint.
Sprint loves Osama and hates America.
Sprint hates our troops.
Sprint: no.
No to Sprint.

Thank you.

UPDATE: Sprint fantasizes about strangling puppies.

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“Fucking Sprint. (Updated)”

  1. Blogger Dave Schuler Says:

    I wish you wouldn't hold back like that. You'll do yourself a mischief.

  2. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:

    I am somewhat irritated with Sprint.

  3. Blogger Pastor_Jeff Says:

    I spent a minute of two trying to figure out what music this went to (William Tell Overture?) before I realized it was free verse.

    I'm guessing $10 off your next bill won't fix this one.

  4. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:

    It's not the money, Pastor Jeff, it's the hold time. In my opinion these people are a criminal organization. Of course that's just my opinion: I'm not stating as fact that they perform black masses and fornicate with goats.

  5. Blogger amba Says:

    Call it Spraint. A sprint, it ain't. A word which also means "the excrement of otters." I kid you not.

  6. Anonymous Funky Dung Says:

    Amazing, we actually agree on something. I've been with Sprint since late '98 and I'll be moving to Verizon in November (when my current contract expires).

  7. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:

    Spraint? That Natural History gig is paying off already.

  8. Blogger Michael Reynolds Says:

    FD:
    I think all faiths, peoples, and political persuasions came come together to agree that Sprint trampled Old Glory and litters on the White House lawn.

  9. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    And we at Sprint hate you whiny Bitch Ass mother fuckers! You think that we should bow down and kiss your asses, well FUCK YOU!!!!!! You whiny bastards spend your lives whining about the stupidist shit, like my phone dropped a call, not calls one fucking call. If we werent dealing with you stupid bastards then we could really help the customer that need help.

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