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The Emptiness of the Obamabashers


Reverend Shaw Moore: I think it's Hadyn, a chamber piece.
Ariel: And that kind of music's ok?
Reverend Shaw Moore: It doesn't confuse people's minds and bodies.

On a couple of occasions, people in crowded Obama meetings, have passed out. On numerous occasions, Obama supporters, when interviewed, have said giddy, silly things. Sometimes when Obama supporters talk about their candidate they do so with . . . enthusiasm. Obama's wife, it seems, has a very high opinion of her husband's abilities.

All of which, when taken together, clearly reveals Obama to be the Antichrist and shows his voters to be devil-worshippers. Or Obama may be Mussolini and his supporters fascists. Or Obama is pretending to be Robert Kennedy and his fans are, um, baby boomers? Or maybe, just maybe, Obama is Mylie Cyrus in her alter-ego guise of Hannah Montana, and his (her) fans are squealing teeny-boppers.

One thing is for sure: there is no dancing in politics. There will be no rock and roll, not in Washington. Expressions of optimism are to be ruthlessly discouraged.

You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig a way down in your heart
You're burning, yearning for songs
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Stop it! Stop it! Stop having fun with politics! Don't you know that politics is a grim march from low expectations to grimmer acceptance?

What is that music? Why, it seems to be causing my foot to . . . to move . . . to tap! As though some demon issuing forth from that jungle beat has taken control of my very body! Quick, tie me to the mast and refuse my orders to steer closer to that irresistable siren song.

Reverend Shaw Moore: If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

Excellent question, reverend, and so true. We are being tested by this . . . this . . . Obama. Some say he is an empty suit. Others say he is a full suit, but that the suit is a Muslim one. Some believe he is a charming, Muslim-suited, snake-oil salesman who will . . . gasp . . . extend health insurance to more people. If he can get Congress to enact the legislation. Oh woe!

But all that we can know for sure about this Obama, is that he gives good speeches. Flee! Flee the speech-giver!

Be warned, people, here's how this goes: first comes the great speeches. Then comes people getting excited. Then you have your giddy fans. And before you know it, Obama is sporting a little brush mustache, invading Canada and forcing hockey fans into concentration camps. One thing leads inevitably to another. Have you ever, ever in your life seen a good speaker who wasn't secretly the Nazi Anti-Christ?

I warn you. I warn you all. Obama will release our passions. He will unchain the demons within us with his feel-good, loin-pumping, reason-clouding rhetoric. And once those inner demons are released who knows what horrors my follow? Universal health care! Higher taxes on the rich!

Oh wrack and ruin!

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“The Emptiness of the Obamabashers”

  1. Blogger amba Says:

    Yeah, last time we got swept up in rock'n'roll politics it was "Don't Stop Thinkin' About Tomorrow," a mildly catchy tune that I now cannot stand. When our generation took over it was supposed to be the dawning of the age of enlightenment. That turned out to be a laughable delusion. I hope some fabulous mutation really has taken place in the human race between our generation and the next one.

  2. Blogger Dyre42 Says:

    Amba, do body piercing and tattoos count as mutations?

  3. Blogger amba Says:

    No, Dyre, that's just mutilation.