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Mitt the Flip's Out

The Mitt Romney story.

The Flipmaster has flipped out.

It's been a year of political firsts. The first serious female candidate. The first serious African-American candidate. And Mitt Romney, the first serious Reptilian-American candidate.

And now Mitt the Flip is gone. But never fear, he'll be back.

He may come back as the embodiment of Money! conservatism.
Or some other branch of conservatism.
Or as a moderate.
A liberal.
A social democrat.
A socialist.
A Trotskyite.
A Maoist.
A Fabian.
A communist.
A lesbian.
A Luddite.
A roundhead.
A libertarian.
A fabulist.
A Peronist.
A copperhead.
A ton-ton macoute.
A fascist.
A Gaullist.
A know-nothing.
A flat-earther.
A vegan.
A Scientologist.
A method actor.
A falangist.
A monarchist.
Whatever you need.
Whatever will get him elected.
Just tell him what to be. He'll be it.
Please?

“Mitt the Flip's Out”