We are having some difficulty figuring out how to get Pugs -- the brilliantly-named pug -- to Italy.
It seems pugs have a slight tendency to um, die, if they travel by air. Three of the four members of our family would be upset if that happened, and when 75% of the family is upset, the remaining 25% has a hard time really celebrating.
In any case, we're looking for someone to adopt this cute, adorable, yappy little dog. I'm told he's a good lap dog. I'm told he's actually very sweet. I'm told that I should stop threatening to hit him with a stick.
This is a serious offer. I will deliver him pretty much anywhere east of the Mississippi, to a good home, to be cared for for a period of a year.
But wait! That's not all! We'll actually pay you. $250 a month. (Yes, even if he dies. As a matter of fact, if you can keep your mouth shut about it, there could even be a bonus.)
And. And! Like a yapping, pissing, ugly-ass dog and $250 a month isn't enough to entice any rational person into jumping up and down, waving his hand and crying, "Oooh! Ooooh! Me! I'll do it!" We will also cover all vet expenses.
Write now! Only one pug per customer, so don't delay!