I have obtained a secret document that reveals the GOP's planned roll-out of Obama internet rumors. The following rumors will be placed with right-wing bloggers over the course of the next few weeks:

1) Obama wears skimpy, European-style underwear.

2) Obama's blood has been replaced with a modest Pinot Noir that carries bright notes of cinnamon and raspberry yet lingers on the palette.

3) Obama has six toes on his left foot. His left foot.

4) Obama slept with Hillary in an Iowa Travelodge one dark and snowy night during the run-up to the caucus.

5) If you re-arrange the letters in his secret Masonic name, it will spell out, "Negro Chicago Antichrist." Although there's an extra "G" no one can make sense of.

6) Obama poisons wells.

7) Obama is a flesh-eating zombie.

8) Obama once used the word "autodidact" without softening it with a self-deprecating smirk.

9) Obama watches professional soccer.

10) Obama? Used to be Obamette before the surgery.

This entry was posted by Michael Reynolds, on Thursday, June 12, 2008. You can leave your response.