So, off to London this afternoon for a week-long book tour thing. Sign some books, schmooze with booksellers, hang out with the Egmont people, do some panel, an interview or two. And then on Wednesday I'm hoping to get some free time so I can watch the demonstrations/riots at the G-20.

Apparently demonstrators will be converging on the Bank of England, which is just across London Bridge from my hotel. I'm supposed to be running around from bookstore to bookstore while all this converging is going on, glad-handing and signing books and generally being charming. Yes, that last one is a stretch.

Meanwhile the demonstrators will be shouting whatever it is one shouts at central bankers. I'm going to guess: No more bailouts! But it could be: Longer weekend hours! Or: Shorter lines at the drive-thru! Or: Hotter tellers!

I'm not sure. Because like every single member of the human species, I have no idea how to solve the economic and financial crises. Oh, there are plenty of people who think they know how to solve it all. But they don't. When you have ten experts and you hear two opinions from them, that's standard partisanship. When you have ten experts and you hear ten opinions, you have "experts" in quotes and none of them knows a damn thing for sure.

Nevertheless, people enjoy a good rage, so a lot of people will pour into the streets of London, surround the B of E, and furiously demand conflicting or even nonsensical solutions to a problem the guys inside the Bank of England will have no clue how to solve.

Good times, good times.

Here's my defense in case the rioters turn on me as I'm passing by: I only ever took out 30 year fixed mortgages! Or possibly: I'm just a stockholder and I never even bought on margin!

Or I could run away, but really, at my age what are the odds that I can outrun a wild-eyed anarchist? I could maybe beat one up, because it's not like they can organize and come after me in a group, but really, I'm hoping that if beating is required I can be matched against some mildly irate Unitarians rather than, say, drunken punks.

Here's my defense in case I am chased by drunken punks: I love Rancid and even the solo projects Lars Frederiksen and Tim Armstrong do!

And if it's Unitarians? I appreciate your lack of dogma!

Or maybe I'll just skip the whole thing, stay in the hotel bar and get drunk.

This entry was posted by Michael Reynolds, on Saturday, March 28, 2009. You can leave your response.