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Tragic Nerd Fantasies

Sunday, March 08, 2009 by Michael Reynolds

That's me in the top picture. See, I have this packable fedora, right? I wear it to keep the sun out of my eyes as I write. But I also like the noise-canceling headphones for listening to music. Hence, the look.

I think I look really, really hot. Oh yeah, bay-bee.

The second picture is Angelina Jolie who, as you know, is the Octo Mom. No, that's not true. She's married to Brad Pitt.

If Angelina ever left Brad you know what she would do? She'd run to my arms.

What. You don't think so?

I ridicule myself this way to make a point. Republicans believe that if we all turn against Obama, we will run to the waiting arms of this guy:

Or this guy:

Or this guy:

Yes, they are that deluded.

The party of Rush Limbaugh, George W. Bush, John "Tanning Bed" Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Michael Steele, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin actually believes they are that close to regaining power. No, seriously. They do.

They think the if the Captain of the football team drops out the Prom Queen will belong to the pizza-faced nerd.

They are that out of touch. They are that delusional. It's tragic, in a cruelly funny sort of way. They just don't get that we'd sooner paint ourselves blue and run naked through the streets than ever be seen with them.

I mean, ewwww.

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