Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
It's the Same Old Bullshit.
You'll never find anyone standing up for the Same Old Bullshit. There is no Same Old Bullshit lobby. No 527 or think tank that will admit to being all about the Same Old Bullshit. Don't let that fool you: the Same Old Bullshit lobby is powerful. Easily the most powerful force in American politics.
Barack Obama suggests some voters may be bitter and Hillary leaps, teeth bared, claws extended. She becomes the living embodiment of the Same Old Bullshit.
And the networks and pundits devoted to the Same Old Bullshit fall in line. They're like my idiot Labrador, Goofy: they eat it, they shit it out, they eat their own shit, and start it all over again. A perpetual motion machine of bullshit.
The Reverend Wright "controversy?" The Same Old Bullshit.
The John McCain 100 years distortions? The Same Old Bullshit.
Obama's flag lapel pin heresy? The Same Old Bullshit.
The John McCain temper "concerns?" The Same Old Bullshit.
Bowling. The Same Old Bullshit.
Did she weep? The Same Old Bullshit.
Did he smoke? The Same Old Bullshit.
Did his wife . . . Bullshit.
Did her husband . . . Bullshit.
How about her daughter . . . Bullshit.
Gotcha, gotcha, neener, neener, did you hear, did you see, did you read, hah, booyah, got him, got her, got it, got them, she cried, he choked, he lost his place, hair, suit, shoes, too smooth, too rough, too black, too white, too old, too new, too tough, too this, too that, not enough of 'a' and too much of 'b' and this bullshit, and that bullshit, and eight new kinds of bullshit, and oh, look, it's a whole new subspecies of bullshit. Bullshit from the trenches, bullshit from the academy, bullshit in Olympian tones, George Will brand Bullshit, Paul Krugman brand Bullshit, Euro-Bullshit.
Sweet suffering Jesus aren't you all just sick of it?
Actually, no: you're not. Not all of you. You all claim to be sick of it, but the Same Old Bullshit comforts people. The Same Old Bullshit is home for a lot of people. They like the Same Old Bullshit. Just like my dog, they eat, excrete, and redigest the Same Old Bullshit.
Why? Well, about half the spreaders of the Same Old Bullshit are partisan hacks who don't give a fuck about anything but their guy or girl or side winning. Because the whole fucking planet will fall off its fucking axis and go spinning into the sun if their side doesn't fucking "win."
Win! Win! Win win win win win win win win win winwinwinwinwin!
Win! What what, exactly? Win the bullshit prize! Booyah! My bullshit beat your bullshit! In your face!
And the other half are just bores. Devoid of imagination, devoid of perspective, devoid of
any real interest, just needing to have something to say, so why not just keep repeating the same tired bullshit?
It's like we never get the children out of the room. Is there never a time when the adults can talk? Like adults? About real things? No? Never? Must it always be partisan hacks and morons running loose spreading the Same Old Bullshit everywhere? Filling the world with the Same Old Bullshit until all the world is choked on it?
We've got terrorists looking for nukes. We've got a mount Everest of debt. There are two wars on. People are losing their houses. People are starving all over the world. There are viruses and bacteria busily mutating and looking for fun new ways to kill us. The goddamned planet may be overheating. We've made trillions of dollars' worth of promises we can't possibly keep. We're running out of gas, and I don't just mean literally.
And all we talk about is bullshit.
And the problem is not our politicians or even our media. They're just the bullshit-pushers. The problem is us. We create the market for bullshit. If we stop eating it, they'll stop feeding it to us.
The truth is that John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama could all be good presidents. Or lousy presidents. But none of the three has a chance so long as we the people demand a steady diet of the Same Old Bullshit.
The problem is not "Them." It's me, and you.